Thursday, June 26, 2014

Anxiety & Dating? No thanks!

I feel as if I've used this one before....

Frankly, I'm starting to think dating when you have anxiety (including social anxiety) is not a good idea. I will admit that there are times when I become wistful and think, "You know, I do miss having that special someone. I do miss being in a relationship," and then common sense kicks me in the butt. How in the hell do I put myself out there when all I would do was worry about it?

I've tried online dating sites to see if that would help me any.... let's just say that was a big, fat fail. I could go the route of doing it "old school" by getting out of the house and meeting people, but I'm a little rusty in that area. I'm pretty sure that if someone asked my opinion about something (Just don't ask me about chocolate. I'll start drooling and foaming at the mouth.), my answer would come out in some dead language. Or nothing would come out at all and I'd just stand there looking like a complete idiot. Believe me, it's happened. This is why I always have a sidekick with me to do the talking just in case. You never know when they will come in handy. If you stand there without any words coming out, just poke them in the side with your elbow and they instantly spring into action and save the day! Thank you, sidekick.

My main worries about jumping into a relationship? Every. Single. Thing. I'd worry that I would do or say something to make them mad. I'd worry that they weren't happy. I'd worry that they'd think I was too weird. Perhaps they'd think that I worry too much? (Okay. So that one is a given.)  What if we found out we have nothing in common except for our love of staying up late to watch cheesy infomercials? It's weird to think that we humans go through life hoping to meet someone who makes their toes curl, their heart beat a little faster, and their stomach feel as if they're about to lose their lunch; also known as "butterflies." It's happened a few times in my life- This was years before my brain decided to have a little fun and create chaos. Of course, celebrities don't count. It's nice to dream though, isn't it?

I've told my family many, many times that I cannot fall in love unless I work on myself first. I want to be stable enough to relax and not worry too much about the "what ifs." While I may lust after a fairy-tale love and relationship, It's not plausible right now, and I'm okay with that. I'm.... okay with that.

Welcome to the thoughts of a single nutcase.

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